May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits!
May your every sexual arousal be followed by the runs!
May every piece of food you eat for the rest of your life be slightly overcooked!
Ahem.
So I’ve been playing quite a bit of Mass Effect lately. (Yes, another shooter! In addition to Bioshock! It’s like I’ve been replaced with a Real Gamer or something!) I’ve really been enjoying it, more than I thought I would. I figured I’d be slogging through the actual fighting sections in order to get to the next part of the story, but I’ve actually been enjoying the fights. There’s something very fun about taking down a Geth tank with nothing but a pistol and some telekinesis. The AI is quite good, too–it’s nice to be able to trust that my team will actually attack the enemy, take cover, stay with me, use their talents, and just generally act competent without me needing to micromanage all of them. The pathing is nice as well, which is something that is usually the bane of my existence in games with companion AI characters. They stay out of my way and rarely trap me in a corner, and when they do I can order them to move. The only problem is that my giant tank teammate has a tendency to bogart the cover when we’re all behind a big crate. I mean, the dude is huge! Covered in natural armor and technological armor! He totally doesn’t need cover as much as my tech and biotic-using human woman.
The only real annoyance I have? The stupid truck. The Mako. It’s bouncy, handles weird, aims weird, drives weird, and they never give you a tutorial the first time they drop you on a planet in it! I didn’t even know I had missiles until I hit the left bumper by accident, and I discovered my thruster boosts when I was flailing around in a button-mashing frenzy hanging halfway off a cliff. I’ve decided that it’s just extremely happy to be out of the ship, and that’s why it’s so bouncy. “OHMIGOD, this is AWESOME! I’m FREE! I’m so happy to be outside! Whee! WHEE! I’m gonna jump around! I love you so much Commander Shepard I love you Iloveyou!” It’s like a puppy. A big puppy with a gun on top.
Really, though, it’s a game where I get to play as a female character, interact with lots of interesting characters, and kill tanks with nothing but a pistol. Makes me feel badass, so I can’t get too cranky about the truck.
I hope they make it less bouncy in the sequel, though.
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